this is a pov video of me approaching you when youre sitting at the clubs bar by yourself thinking about going home and eating some oreo caus all your friends are dancing with people they just met. but then you spot me looking at you its my birthday but my boys can see im distracted.. truly lost this evening..
One of the best scenes of Malcolm in the Middle ever.
that fucking kid took one for the team
people who make you feel better about yourself when you’re sad are so important
"i need a movie where there are kickass female characters"
"i need a movie where the main characters aren’t attractive"
"i need a movie with annoying talking animals"
"i need a movie where the main character lives in a swamp"
"i need a movie that has all star by smash mouth on the soundtrack"
I like ordering the most expensive thing on the menu but refusing to eat it. It’s okay, though, because it’s a metaphor. The metaphor is I’m incredibly wasteful and extremely wealthy.
OMFG HE’S DYING OF CANCER LET HIM DO WHATEVER THE FUCK HE WANTS WITH HIS DAMN CIGARETTES
what are you talking about. im trying to brag about how ridiculously rich i am
If you don’t like Monty Python you’re wrong
the problem with rich people is that i am not one
If u think someone (me) is cute you should tell them (me)
can the science side of tumblr explain this
swag • per • a • tion /swaəgpərashion/
adj. To channel the swagger inside of you and turn it into pure teleportation energy.
i.e. “dude, this party blows, i’m swagperating out of here”
this person wrote a noun, listed it as an adjective, and defined and used it as a verb
i wanna be a reverse tooth fairy where i rob people and then scatter human teeth on their bed
i dont know what your dentist is doing to you but i think you need to go to the police